Dearest Diary,
...Tae kissed me. I wish he hadn't... now I have another sin to bear.
I think its time to just let it all out.
Tae doesn't understand how I feel.
As the middle child, I've always felt alone.
Kiki was the perfect first daughter, like I'm sure Tae is a great oldest child. As a genius she always brought home achievement awards. She won many competitions against people over triple her age. Teachers were always complimenting her. My parents adored her and looked forward to her bright future.
Niki was the youngest, and she received the princess treatment the youngest is entitled too. She received all the attention. It didn't matter if she did something good or bad. My parents and Kiki were always by her side.
Then there was me. I know my parents loved me, but it was always... last. Nothing I did seem to get them excited. Kiki either did it first, and better, or Niki was cuter and more... lovable.
I noticed whenever my mother spoke to me it was to tell me to do something better, while her words for Kiki and Niki were always of praise and affection. My father loved to read, and would only speak to me to ask my opinion about the last book we've read. I read so many books just to get him to talk to me...
When we were living in the woods, Kiki would always put Niki first. Even if it was obvious Niki was innately better at magic than Kiki and me, Kiki would always be teaching her step by step.
Maybe it's because we had both witnessed our parents' death, but Kiki seem to have a difficult time speaking to me. She would only occasionally give me a hug while I was reading before returning to Niki's side.
Kiki: Just hold your arm like that, a little higher.
Niki: Kiki, Niki can do this without holding Niki's arm like that.
Kiki: Oh ho, you really think so? Go ahead and try - oh, I guess you can.
Niki: Kiki you're so silly hahaha. C'mon you try!
It was Kiki's decision to lie to Niki, about our parents, about her being created by "magic." She told Niki I was Kiki's cousin, and that we were living apart from our family to enhance our magic skills. Niki was a product of Kiki's hard training and the ultimate masterpiece of her magic career.
I was hurt. I hadn't felt like a true sister in comparison but to be called a cousin - it...
I don't know. Kiki said it was because she didn't want Niki to feel left out... but... what about me? My feelings?
After the... incident where Niki physically died, we moved into a town thinking it would be safer than living out on our own again. We would just be careful with using our powers when others were around.
Kiki had an easy time getting a decently paid job with her brains. I took part time jobs here and there.
We somehow bought a small home with a basement, and stored Niki's body there. The spell to perserve the body only needed to be recast once a year, but I would wake up at night at times to see Kiki going down into the basement.
Miki: Kiki, where are you going?
Kiki: Going to recast.
Miki: We just did it last month.
Kiki ignored me and went down. The spell costs a tremendous amount of power, Kiki was the weakest in magic out of the three of us, and being a host on top of that- Kiki often skipped work the day after nights like this.
Kiki didn't let me host Niki in my body for long.
I wanted to think she was looking out for me, but in truth, I knew it was more like she didn't trust me.
I wanted to be the host... it was tiring but... Kiki was always nicer to me when Niki was in me.
One night, 4 years ago, I heard the door open at twilight and something plop down onto the floor. I got up from my bunk and tried to adjust my eyes to the darkness. I saw a figure that looked like Kiki sitting on the floor leaning against the bed.
I turned on a light and saw that Kiki was trembling slightly.
Miki: ...Kiki?
She had left excitedly the day before to a large international job conference with Stephen, her much older boyfriend whom she met in the company. As young as she was, her business proposals and plans had never failed to bring in a huge profit for the company. Her company was to announce her promotion to manager of the regional division at this conference.
Miki: ...Kiki...
Kiki inhaled loudly, not moving from her position. I heard her sniffle. She was crying.
Kiki: ...Life's not fair, Miki.
Miki: What wrong?
Kiki let out a curt laugh.
Kiki: Stephen got the promotion.
Miki: ...What, why? I thought you were ...Kiki, its ok, you're smart, you can always get a job somewhere else, or try again-
Kiki lifted her head and laughed hysterically. I saw tears streak on her face, her makeup smudged, her bangs disarrayed. She has been crying for a while.
Kiki: He was using me! Job? I was confused when they called his name for the promotion but that's not what was messed up. In his speech he took credit for all my proposals. In front of all the people, he credited himself for the company's profits and accused me of trying to STEAL his ideas for the position. He called me a whore, sleeping with other company's CEOs and giving out private information. He called me a crazy mentally challenged -
Miki: Kiki, talk to the your company president, he-
Kiki: I didn't need to. He came and talked to me. He fired me. Then he apologized. APOLOGIZED and said he had no choice. He recognized I was smart, I know the shit I'm doing. But I was unstable. I would have outbursts and be... immature. He couldn't have someone like me as a face for the company, but he couldn't risk having me go work for another company either.
Miki: So... they set you up and ridiculed you... in front of...
Kiki: In front of thousands of important corporates around the world, yeah. I'm not getting a job in business.
Kiki stopped and buried her head back into her knees.
Kiki: Ever.
Miki: ...If you would have just let me take Niki then...
Kiki stared up from me from the ground with a piercing glare.
Her eyes were icy blue, cold, and made me regret those words.
Kiki: Don't you dare say that. I know you hate her. I'm doing this for you.
Miki: ...Kiki, I don't hate-
Kiki got up wordlessly, climbed up to her bunk.
I laid in the bunk beneath and listened to her silently sobbing until the sun rose.
Transferring hosts is simple if both the new host and the old are in agreement.
It's a simple matter of holding hands and chanting the same transfer spell at the same time.
Kiki got up and apologized. It was a week after that Kiki spoke to me again and asked me to take Niki from her - just for a while she said.
Kiki: I think I'm going to take a little trip, alone. Take care of Niki until then, for me, please.
I nodded and she was out the door.
...The night she left... I... I...
She laid the same as she has for years since she died... so pale... so innocent.
Miki: ...Niki, please... you have to understand.
Even with all the books I've read in my lifetime, I couldn't find any other solution.
The only thing I knew is what Kiki had told me the day she first hosted Niki in her body.
The dead's body had to be preserved in order for the spell to work.
I wished I could blame everything on Niki. That I was in the right.
But I knew it wasn't Niki's fault.
I was doing this because... because I wanted to.
Miki: ...Niki, you... you'll understand, won't you?
The flames caught onto Niki's flesh in a moments time. They danced around her delicate pale skin before hungrily devouring her limbs into their burning grasp.
I stood frozen. The smell of burning flesh burned inside my nose. The images of my parents burning flashed before my eyes. Images of Niki dancing with my mother in the garden while I watched from a distance. Of Kiki throwing Niki's birthday party when she had forgotten mine.
Images of Niki calling me to join their party. Of Niki asking me to read her a bedtime story.
Of Niki... of Niki telling me she loved me.
My thoughts ended as a sharp pain pierced through my head. I gagged and coughed - it was getting hard to breathe. My ears started ringing loud.
The pain spread throughout my body. My legs began to involuntarily shake. Shivers crawled up spine, my body suddenly cold and sweating. My vision blurred. My heart beat loud and irregularly.
I collapsed to the ground, coughing. I felt a force being squeezed out of my body.
When that force - Niki's spirit - escaped my body all the pain suddenly ceased.
When I regained my posture, I saw the form of Niki standing in front of me.
Miki: ...Niki?
Niki: ...What is it?
Miki: ...Do you hate me?
Niki's joyful laughter seemed to echo around the empty room, mixed with the crackle of the fire.
Niki: Why would Niki hate you?
Niki's form began to dim as she stepped back away from me and towards her burning body.
Niki: Niki knew this would happen.
Miki: Niki- wait... I-
I made out a wink on Niki's fading face as it disappeared into the flames.
Niki: I always knew you hated me.
...I - I didn't hate her. I didn't.. I didn't...
I've never cried as much as I've cried out my heart that night as the flames died out.
Niki's ashes settled silently on the cold stone ground.
And she was gone. Forever.
...............
Kiki returned home several days later. I was... I was scared. I didn't know how to tell her what I had done.
She talked about a new opportunity she had found in her travels. Kiki made the decision to move on, and start fresh. There was a university she wanted to enroll in, and once she graduated she would open up a new business of her own. If no one would hire her, she would build up from the ground and dominate over them all.
Kiki: ...so I think we need to be moving again.
Miki: ...I don't have any attachments to this place anyway.
The scent of Niki's burning flesh and the sight of her ashes below still clouded my senses.
I was more than happy to leave this house.
Kiki: Miki, I can take back Niki now if you want.
I blurted out excuses, unable to confront Kiki with what I did.
Miki: No, you can't have her while you're in university. It might cause you problems again.
Kiki: But you're going to be enrolling with me!
Miki: ...Me?
Kiki: Of course! I'm sure Niki always wanted to go to university too. Isn't there anything you want to study?
I didn't reply. What was I suppose to say?
Kiki: ...Look Miki. We'll have to hide Niki's body somewhere else and come back to restore it once a year. If we move to university we're going to have to be even more careful since we have to live on campus, at least for the first year.
Miki: ...Kiki, I-
Kiki: I really think I should take her back though. Niki's unpredictable, it might be dangerou-
Kiki reached over and touched my shoulder but I pulled back.
Miki: Can you STOP worrying? I'm NOT going to mess Niki up. You don't have to keep fussing over her all the time!
Kiki: ...Miki, I'm more worried about you.
Miki: Since when did you worry about me?
Kiki's expression clouded and she exhaled deeply. She locked her gaze onto me and replied with a warm, gentle tone in her voice.
Kiki: ...I always cared about you. I'm sorry I haven't been the greatest older sister to you but... please. I love you as much as I love Niki. I care about you both the same. But Niki is... she's young. I trusted you to be able to take care of yourself but recently I started realizing that I might have been neglecting you.
Kiki leaned over and try to give me another hug.
Miki: Kiki. I'm fine.
Kiki pulled back and continued, without any hint of anger or frustration at my attitude.
Kiki: If it means anything to you, I've only been able to make it this far because I knew you were here for me. I had half the mind to jump off a bridge after what happened, but I had to return knowing you'll be waiting for me.
My mind eased up and I looked over at my older sister. Her face still showed traces of sorrow from her recent incident, but her smile seemed genuine.
Kiki: When did my little Miki grow up so big, huh?
I felt like crying.
Kiki: Well... since you're so willing to help your big sister out, I'll leave Niki in your care for now.
She pulled me into a hug. I sat there uncomfortably, trying to put a smile on my face.
Kiki: I guess this is kind of nice haha. Having both my little sisters in one body makes it easier for me to keep my eye on both of you!
...What was I suppose to do? How the hell do you tell her... after- after what she said?
I refused to do the transfer ritual with Kiki, and told her I had hidden away Niki's body so that she won't be able to take her back. I told her I would do the preservation spells.
Despite all the protests, the last event with Stephen must have scarred Kiki because she didn't pressure me too much about it.
....I had no choice but to act like Niki still existed inside of me.
But I'm not Niki. I'm not like her at all.
I wasn't sure how to act, and my acting... grew more outrageous.
I began to do things that didn't make sense at all. People began to ridicule me.
But that was fine. That's what I deserve.
I deserve to be unhappy. I've taken away Kiki's joy, I've... I've killed my own sister.
...I'm leaving, diary. Good bye.
Miki
P.S. Kiki... if you found this diary and are reading this entry... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I hope that you and Tae find your happiness in a life that I don't exist.
Siblings, siblings... Looks like there is a lot of love, hurt and misunderstanding between the three sisters. Miki has decided to leave behind her diary, Kiki, Tae and her life - can you blame her? How will Kiki and Tae take this news? Too many questions?!
Why is it so hard to burn a Sim in the game now? >.>
Poses made by simsimi, pnmai, IMHO, koolhira, clover, mayu, tumtum and emmy.
I'm way too addicted to pose maker now haha.
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